My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
