ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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