I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize