i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize