my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
