I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
