just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize