Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
