I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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