Your tits are I can't wait for
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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