I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
