Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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