I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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