They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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