she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
As shirtless as possible
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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