U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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