I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
