Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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