it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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