This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
