im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize