She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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