Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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