Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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