Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
