I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize