Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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