yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad