She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already