No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood