I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
