A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
