real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
