I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sobbing to NWA
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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