real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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