no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize