when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
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It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
BRING THE BAGELS
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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