I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize