I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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