How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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