Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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