hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
