i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
