halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
