The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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