you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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