Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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