on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize