i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize