If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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