found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
