Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
